what if sticking to a routine is outside your comfort zone?

for a long time, i believed that getting out of your comfort zone meant doing bold moves—moving to a different country, drastically changing your career, or starting a business you had no idea how to.

we're sold on the idea that taking big leaps is where growth happens. but what happens if you're someone who got comfortable living in chaos? you got comfortable in the unknown and now having routines and stability is the real discomfort.

when i was ten years old, i moved to a different country that didn't speak the language i knew. they didn't listen to the music i grew up listening to. i learned to speak a different language and try new cuisines. until one day, i learned to assimilate myself into the new culture.

then when i was thirteen, i moved to a different country again. and just like my first experience, i learned to immerse myself once again, in a new culture. so for the longest time, this became my comfort zone. to move. to never stay in one place. to start something new all the time. i'd look for new hobbies, projects and learn new skills. i'd teach myself how to play a new instrument, learn a new language, learn about philosophy, and etc.

this behaviour translated into my career as well. since university, i’d have 2 - 3 jobs at a time thinking that the more ambitious i became, the more valuable i am. having one stable job wasn't enough. i always felt like i needed to be doing something more, but not really sure why.

maybe it's my conditioning because all my life, that's all i saw and that's what i believed to be success is. to be successful, you need to do a lot. it's what my parents did, it's what i saw society did. and so that's what i learned—to be chaotic. to never stay in one place. to never do one thing.

i'd put myself in situations where chaos is the norm—my work and my hobbies. and for a while, this served me.

i loved the fact that i don't work a 9 to 5. as a nurse, i have a lot of flexibility by working 12-hour shifts. i'd work a couple days a week and be off for the rest of the week. i felt like i had time to do other things than work. i also worked night shifts. my schedule was always all over the place but i preferred it that way. i told myself, i liked the variety.

but then my life changed and i became a mom. and since getting into this role, i've been relying heavily on routines, on predictability and stability—something i hated before.

i wake up to feed my baby at 5:30 am and she goes to back to sleep. i work until she’s ready to wake up for the day. we go for our daily morning walks, we do some playtime, and etc. there are some variations during the day-to-day, but we mostly follow the same routine. and suprisingly, i’ve been loving it.

most people—past me included—think that having a routine is boring and that you should do these grand things that'll get you out of your comfort zone in the name of growth. but what if for some of us, the boring, monotonous life is exactly what we need?

with my newfound likeness of routine, i feel like i'm experiencing a sense of peace i'd never experienced before. i know exactly how my day will go and i know exactly what i need to work on. it feels uncomfortable because im used to the not knowing. im used to getting surprised by my day. and even though i liked the feeling of uncertainty, it always felt like i was reacting. like i was chasing my tails. i always felt anxious and stressed.

and in the short term, there's nothing wrong with this. but in the long run, when your stress response is activated all day every day, it doesn't bode well for your long-term well-being.

i also found that having a routine makes me more creative. because i no longer feel like i’m chasing things, i’ve learned to create space for ideas to flourish. on my morning walks, i let my mind wander and come up with ideas for my writing. in the evenings, i spend time reading to expand my knowledge. i also listen to other people’s ideas when i’m cleaning.

so even though having a routine feels uncomfortable, i've been learning how to embrace it. there's a strong urge to start a new project every day, whether that's creating a new app, starting a business, or creating different types of content. and in those times, i've been learning how to sit between the desire and the action—in the pause. instead of acting on the idea right away, i'll give the idea a day or two or even a week to see how i feel about it.

before starting something new, i ask myself, if i start this, how would it change my day-to-day routine? will i have less time with my family? if the answer is yes, then it can’t be added into my life right now. i learn to be okay with it and i try to convince myself that i have time later.

you might say that there will be no time later, but i think it's all about the priorities that you set for yourself. in this season of my life, it's motherhood. but maybe later, it's my career. and i think that once you accept and embrace what season of life you're in, it becomes easier to say no to things that don't align with that. there's not much guilt involved because you made a decision that came from you and not from others.

there are times where i question whether embracing this monotonous life is my zone of discomfort or am i giving up on my dreams? for instance, since i've become more intentional with my choices, i've been creating less videos on instagram. i used to post a video every single day, and now, i've shifted my strategy to posting whenever i have extra time after being a mom and after writing. and i ask myself, "did i make that decision because it's serving me or am i looking for an excuse to not do it?" after all, i told myself i want to be a content creator since last year.

i feel like the answer lies in how i feel at the end of the day. most days, i feel quite happy and content about my life. if i've done my duties as a mom and i spent a couple of hours of writing and spending quality time with my husband, i’ve done enough. even though i couldn't make the videos i wished, it still feels like i'm on the right path.

i used to think that i'm not doing enough or i’m not working hard enough, but having this predictable routine honestly shows that maybe i'm aspiring for too much. we've been told that we can have it all. and maybe that's true, but not at the same time.

and even though i have a routine, i still find excitement in my day-to-day life. for one, i never know what i’m going to write about so i’m always looking for ideas around me. i watch my daughter do different things every day. on weekends, i go on a solo café date or i meet up with friends. even though i have a routine, the tasks i’m doing are still different, and that still makes life somewhat exciting.

so if you're used to living a life of chaos, then maybe having a routine is actually your version of getting out of your comfort zone. because in the routine, you start to find meaning in the ordinary, which makes life extraordinary. in routines, you find feelings of peacefulness. in routines, you find self-compassion because you're doing the best you can with the time you have. in routines, you realize what matters most to you, and you say no to things that aren't quite important to you in whatever season of life you're in.

maybe you hated routines because it was predictable and boring, but maybe that's exactly what you need in order to grow right now?