underrated ways I'm making my world a little quieter
because my internal and external world has been a little too chaotic
Lately, I've been noticing a shift in my world.
I feel a bit more grounded, less anxious, and a tiny bit more regulated. In the past two months, I've been feeling chaotic. Everything I do, like simple tasks like cooking and preparing my baby's bottle, feels so rushed.
Even though there is no reason to rush.
I jump from one task to another with this inexplicable sense of urgency.
As a result, I can never get things done, I doubt myself, and I don't get the results that I want.
As I observe my own behaviors, I realize that this chaotic mind was coming from one thing: overstimulation.
From grabbing my phone every 10 seconds to hearing my baby squeal to turning on the TV for background noise, there is barely any quiet in my world.
Because for most of us, quiet feels uncomfortable and awkward.
Quiet means you can think. And if you have time to think, that probably means you have time to reflect on yourself, your behaviors, and your overall life.
Quiet means you can finally hear yourself talk and let you know why things are or aren't working in your life.
Quiet means you can finally have a conversation with yourself about what you truly want in life. And for us writers and content creators, it means you can finally ask yourself, "What do I really want to write about and publish out there?"
Quiet means listening to your inner voice instead of the people you see on social media.
And if you have big goals in life, listening to your inner voice is crucial. Because it's the only way you can learn if your goals are yours or someone else's.
Here are some ways I'm making my world a little quieter for inner peace.
Putting my phone on grayscale from 9 pm to 12 pm.
Colours stimulate our brains. There's a whole Netflix documentary* on how apps are meant to keep us inside the app. Turning your screen into greyscale mode makes it less appealing to use.
I’m an iPhone user, so I configured my 'lock button' to be pressed 3 times, and that will automatically turn the screen into greyscale mode. Here’s a little tutorial for either phone.
Turning on the downtime on my phone.
Similar to greyscale, I turned on the downtime mode on my phone from 11 pm to 12 pm. This means I can’t use most of my apps on my phone (the app would require a passcode every time I try to use it). My creative juices are the best in the morning, so doing this makes it very annoying to use social media and Safari on my phone. Also, you'll be surprised at how much you pick up your phone when you turn this feature on.
Notifications for everything are off (with some exceptions).
WhatsApp messages & calls. Those are the only things I allow into my world right at the moment. Everything else can wait when I choose to go into the apps. Instagram. Messenger. Gmail. All my notifications are off for those apps forever. People aren't meant to have access to you 24/7. When you're doing something important, every notification is a disruption in your flow. Why would you allow people to have that power over your attention?
Not turning the TV on for background noise.
When my daughter was a newborn, I turned on the TV all the time to numb the fact that having a baby felt like hell. I watched Netflix shows while she was sleeping or when I was feeding her. I didn't realize I kept the 'bad' habit because I felt I no longer had time to think. I'd turn on the TV while I cleaned or cooked. And that just made it hard for me to think.
These days, I turn the TV on with the intention of completely shutting down my brain. I try not to use it to mask silence
Newsletters > Short Form Videos
I didn't realize I had an attention problem until I started reading newsletters on Substack. At first, I couldn't get through one newsletter. I can't just skip to the next issue like I'm scrolling on TikTok. It'd require a lot of buttons.
But like reading a physical book, reading newsletters forces me to slow down and take in what the author is saying. It's quiet. Some newsletters I've read are so good that they linger in my mind for days while living.
They've made me think so deeply that it inspired me to write and/or take action in my own life.
Scrolling, on the other hand, feels like standing in a mall, and then a stranger comes up to you to tell you one thing, then another stranger comes to tell you a different thing, and so forth. By the end of the so-called 'interactions,' you have no idea what happened, and your brain feels fried.
Not having YouTube or any video while I get ready.
I used to watch YouTube or educational videos while I was getting ready. But now, I feel that many of my ideas come from mundane tasks, like putting on makeup.
10 minutes of meditation after putting the baby to sleep.
After a long day of caring for a tiny human, sometimes I just stay in bed to soak my day in. In peace. Sometimes, I use a meditation app. Not only do I feel like I come back to myself, but I also get energized to tackle the rest of the night.
Nature walk without a podcast.
Most days, I listen to podcasts during my walk. But sometimes, when I crave quiet, I don't put anything on. No music, no podcasts. Just the sounds of the wind, birds, and children playing in the park as I push a stroller with my baby in it for half an hour.
Watching a TV show in a different language.
I personally love watching K-dramas. Not only do they have the best stories, but they also force you to focus. When I watch K-dramas, I have to read the subtitles because they’re in Korean (and I don’t speak Korean). Even though I’m technically watching TV, it’s still quiet in my head.
Final Thoughts
Quiet can be deafening sometimes because that's when your inner voice gets loud.
They made a study that people would rather be electrically shocked than be left alone with their thoughts. That's how uncomfortable silence is for most people.
But, like working out, cultivating quiet times in your day is crucial for your mind. Not only does it help you feel grounded and help you move toward your goals, but it also helps you feel calmer overall.
How do you cultivate more quiet in your world?
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I appreciate you being here,
J 💜
*Netflix Documentary: The Social Dilemma
Writing is my way of finding quiet and so is being in nature. Living in busy London, it’s hard to hear myself think unless I’m in the park or lying on the grass in the garden.
I’m realising that quiet isn’t just about the noise around me, but the noise within. Lately, I’ve been trying to slow down, ask questions, write them out, and just listen.
However, I appreciate and value more than anything else. The sound of rain comes second. It makes me relax and think. I hate noise in all it’s forms.