How do you know what you want?

On your body's role in decision-making, on taking time with projects and changing your mind later.

Dec 08, 2021

Hi friends & new subscribers,

Greetings from Cancun, Mexico!

My partner and I decided to change our working environment. To get a little taste of the digital nomad life, we decided to stay in an all-inclusive hotel to work. I recognize how fortunate we are to be able to do this.

I'm thankful to a couple of you who replied to my last email. The self-employed life has been a rollercoaster. Without social media, I found myself bored a lot (although I'm back now, say hi on Twitter).

During that time, I had a lot of time to reflect asking myself, "what do I want? What do I want my life to look like? What's my ideal week look like? What's my perfect day look like?". Although I don’t have the perfect answer, my days have been filled with intentional actions.

So this week, I'd like to talk about how to know what you want.

🤔 How to Know What You Want

Your heart knows what it wants.

But sometimes, our logical brain doesn't agree or comprehend why our hearts want what it wants. From an evolutionary perspective, your brain is supposed to protect you, so anything that feels uncomfortable makes you feel fearful, doubtful, or stressed.

It was a good protective mechanism when it protected our cavemen ancestors from bears and poisonous berries, but these days, we're pretty much safe all the time. At least, I hope if you're reading this, you are.

Unfortunately, our brain didn't evolve with our hearts' desires.

So, even if you say you want a successful business or want to quit your job, the brain thinks this is a very dangerous idea, so it freaks out, which manifests as fear, doubt or anxiety.

And that's okay.

So what do you do now?

Well, every time you ask yourself, what do I want? You have to ask yourself, is this my brain or my heart talking?

If your heart is talking to you, you'll know in your body.

Bear with me.

You'll know because you feel expanded rather than contracted. If you've never felt these feelings before, I invite you to take a minute and explore what those feelings are in your body. They're different for everyone. But I've been learning how to listen to my body these days to know what I truly want.

If you're confused about a decision, imagine yourself making that decision and see how it feels in your body.

If you're feeling expanded, it means that it's a good feeling, and you can probably associate it with feelings of joy, peace and kindness. If you're feeling contracted, you most likely feel like a knot or something uncomfortable in one part of your body.

It's probably not the typical pros and cons list or 5-year plan of knowing and getting what you want, but sometimes, we need to trust our instinct more than our logical, sometimes unreliable brain.

Here’s a Tim Ferris podcast episode that explores this topic, if you want to do a deep dive.

🧚 3 Fairy Tips for Multipassionate Creators

Write for yourself [On writing]: Write for yourself, but don't forget about the reader. The art of writing is a beautiful balance of satisfying your soul and giving importance to your reader's attention. It's a privilege to have someone read your words in this very noisy world, which is why I'm thankful for you if you're here.
Take your time with projects [On Freelancing]: When I write an article on Medium, I can probably finish it in 2 hours. But with my clients, I take my time. As much as it pains me to take that long, I'm learning not to rush things. It probably comes from being an Emergency nurse. But, that will also take time.
You can always change your mind [On Life]: Even if you pick the "wrong" decision today, know that you can always change your mind as long as you have your own back. If I decided to go back to my old job, I'd still have my own back. Know that you're never stuck in life, even if it feels like it. 🙂

🤔 A question for you this week:

What's ONE thing that has been bothering you, and why hasn't it changed?

As always, let me know your thoughts, comments and concerns. :) See you in 2 weeks.

With online love 💌 ,

Jerine