how do you grieve a version of you that you dreamed of?

when life forces you to rebrand

About 8 years ago, an old friend introduced me to the world of self-improvement.

He told me about podcasts, self-help books, and the overall concept of improving yourself.

He told me that he doesn't listen to music during his commute to university. Crazy, I thought. Instead, he'd listen to podcasts. Back then, podcasts weren't as popular now. I thought, "What a cool person. He's into improving himself and spends his free time learning."

Around that time, I'd spend my days anxious and insecure about myself and my relationships. I would binge-watch shows on Netflix and not feel a single ounce of guilt about it.

So I got curious about the self-help world and decided to buy my first non-fiction book called "You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero.

Reading that book felt like going to Narnia.

There was a new world that I didn't know about that I could explore.

After reading the book, I felt like a whole different person. It was the first time I thought, "Wow, I have control over how my life will go. I don't need to be insecure or unhappy. Things don't just happen to me. I actually need to do things to make things happen."

After that, I'd gotten into all sorts of self-improvement stuff like productivity, money, mindset, spirituality, etc.

It took another 5 to 7 years to actually apply the lessons in my real life, making them wisdom instead of knowledge.

I finally understood what the author was talking about when she said our beliefs dictate our reality.

In simple terms, if you think you’ll have a good life, you’ll have a good life. If you think you’ll have a bad life, you’ll have a bad life.

Adopting this mindset, I spent the last 7 years reading books, listening to mindset podcasts, and hiring life and spiritual coaches.

I didn’t know where each choice would take me, but I can definitely say that my life has upgraded.

I was no longer the 21-year-old insecure girl living in my parents’ apartment, sharing a bedroom with my sister, while also having two jobs because she was constantly worried about money.

I became a 28-year-old woman who felt confident enough to pursue her dreams and live comfortably with a supportive partner.

It took about 8 years, but I got to where I wanted to be.